( – promoted by DocHoc)
Former gubernatorial candidate Vince Orza announced today he has become an official toady to The Daily Oklahoman’s editorial board.
As official toady, Orza will delicately criticize the current presidential administration and the botched Iraq war in the newspaper’s columns while vilifying anyone who speaks truthfully about these issues in the state.
“It’s my duty as `official toady’ to sort of apologize for the newspaper’s mistakes in its one-sided Iraq war coverage but at the same time allow it to continue to indoctrinate the state’s young people into the right-wing fold,” Orza said. “In the tradition of all great Oklahoma centrists, I believe progressives and liberals should be denied a voice in the state’s largest newspaper, but right-wingers should be given as much column space as possible. That’s the very definition of centrist in this state, right?”
Orza said he would work to keep The Oklahoman free of liberal voices by denouncing anyone who speaks the truth as a “left fanatic.” He especially wants to ensure Oklahoman’s young liberal and progressive thinkers realize there is no room for them here in the state.
“Get the hell out,” Orza warns young Oklahoma liberals, “or join the Republican Party. You are like rattlesnake poison. Young, educated professionals, especially liberal arts majors, are the last thing this state needs.”
As official Oklahoman toady and regular commentary writer for the Oklahoma Gazette, Orza plans to make sure progressive voices are completely silenced in the state by using his “double whammy media mojo.”
“Diversity, schmiversity” Orza quipped. “I plan to take up as much column space as I can get. What’s important to realize is that George Bush and Dick Cheney are good men with `noble intentions,’ and if you don’t believe that, you shouldn’t have a voice here. They had noble intentions. Get it. Noble. N-O-B-L-E.”