Arrrrr! So what does a five-letter Arrrrr mean? It means it’s none other than Planksy, yer pirate turkey sailing in with me fowly friends to deliver the sharklers and sparklers this Fourthy holiday. Arrr! Me and me birds are coming up the Oklahoma river, and then making a turn up the Bricktown Canal. Ahoy, methinks I spy a bar or five. Stop, oarsbirds!
So you know the drift. If yer a smarmy landlubber, yer get me sharklers and a little swimmy time with the toothie fishies after yer walk the plank. If yer possess the bold, courageous soul of a pirate turkey, yer get me sparklers, which come with a trip on board me vessel and the sweet partaking of rum from me special barrel, Planksy Reserve 46. Let the horn piping and dancing commence. Arrr!
Sharklers. Me first sharklers of the day go to nearly each and every Republican legislator in the state, rascally landlubbers, who cut funding to higher education by nearly 16 percent and continue to cut funding for K-12 education. Talk about yer draining of the brain. Avast, me fellow pirate turkeys, these bilge rats stink up the boat, if yer get me drift, a leaky one at that. Voters should move smartly now in November.
Sparklers. Me first sparklers of the day go to any state legislator that voted against the education cuts and spoke out against them. It’s a brave move in a place filled with rapscallions with broken compasses and ruffled feathers and ugly gobblers. Come aboard! Drink it up! Aye, dance, dance, dance! Fiddle player, turn it up.
Sharklers.Sharklers to Gov. Mary Fallin, who seems more interested these days in presidential wannabe Donald Trump than Oklahoma. Why did she in all landlubberyness sign off on the education cuts at the end? To teach a lesson to those who teach lessons? A broken state just got brokener. Aye, matey, it makes a bird sad it does.
Sparklers. Let’s don’t leave it on a sad hornpipe note, me final sparklers go to none other than that bird of courage, with a gorgeous gobbler to die for, a bird like no other in the world, a smartly dressed sailor, an event in hisself, enshrined in song and poem alike, a strutter of the first degree, Planksy, the pirate turkey! Arrr! Aye, aye, lads and lasses, have yerselves a very happy holiday. Arrrrrr!